Tears streamed down my face as, yet again, I brought the same struggle to confession, and, yet again, I was left wondering if anything would ever change my frozen heart or if the pain inside would be a dull ache forever. I didn’t like to think I was a person who held grudges. After all, I told myself, I left the past in the past and moved on. Still, I knew something in my heart was not right. So, with drooping shoulders and a heavy sigh, I brought the same situation before God, praying he would somehow show me the way through.
Fast forward three months later…..
I had immediately been drawn to the content Matt and Erin shared on the podcast (The Catholic Coaching Podcast), their vulnerability and their commitment to study Catholic teaching and tradition. After a short phone connection to sort out timelines and scheduling details, I was ready to dive in!
I joined Purgative Way, with big excitement and just a touch of trepidation that I always hold when there is an element of the unknown. Enthusiastic, I was ready to polish my coaching skills, learn how to ask engaging questions, and see how the Catholic perspective tied it all together!
Little did I know that the person who needed the most coaching was me. As I learned about thoughts and emotions, beliefs and the ways they drive my life, a light of deeper understanding started to grow in my mind and heart. I became convicted in so many ways of how my own thoughts and habits lead me to choose darkness over light, even when the thoughts I used to justify seemed nice and “shiny” to me. I saw so many lies and deeply rooted beliefs that I had held for years, perhaps even a lifetime, that were keeping me stuck in shame and pain.
Daily journaling and the coaching I received brought to my attention again the struggle I had been having in a particular relationship. That heaviness I just could not shake.
In bringing this struggle to the light, my coach shared simple words that had a profound impact on me.
“You are 100% lovable, as you are. Everyone is 100% lovable as they are. Even if the other person never changes, they are 100% lovable. You don’t have to wait for them to change to start loving them.”
A month later, in a quiet moment of encountering this person, a sense of love and peace flooded my heart. In my mind, I could receive this other person as a gift in a way I had never been able to do before. I could accept things as they were, the wheat and the weeds, without ruminating or seeking to control the various aspects of the situation. I was in awe at this movement deep within my soul.
This was my treasure. This was my gift. This was my freedom.
God used the light of truth, laid out upon the foundation we had been building in our study of Catholic Coaching, to move mountains in my heart. Suddenly there was life and hope, light and freedom, shining into a place deep within me, where darkness had kept me hiding in a tomb for years.
“Behold, I make all things new,” echoed in my soul. And in a moment, I knew this was true. And in that moment, I wanted to share this amazing gift of hope and freedom! A breath of life where, before, there had only been death.
I knew, even more deeply, that I was called to continue to serve others through coaching. I feel profoundly blessed with this call to walk beside others in their journey towards transforming their minds, so that they too can find greater freedom, joy and peace. How privileged I am to join others in this mission and to share the gifts that I have been given so generously!
If you’re seeking to move beyond roadblocks and develop your awareness, your mindset and your skill set to achieve greater freedom, you can connect with me on Instagram @cherishedjoyfulhearts or through email at cherishedjoyfulhearts@gmail.com.
My prayer for you as you read these words is that God would bring hope to your hopeless places, light to your deepest darkness and peace to the storms that never stop raging in your soul. May you be given the grace to open your heart to the ways He is calling you in the stillness, towards new life and unconditional love.
“Behold, I make all things new.”
