Hey y’all! Mark here. I’m a Resident Coach here at Metanoia Catholic. I’m hopping on the blog today to share with you how coaching transformed my life and my marriage and offer you a special invitation.
But first, a story.
Abby, our 2 boys (& baby coming in December), and I currently live in Ave Maria, Florida, but we are originally from south Louisiana. This Easter, we drove home to visit family and spend the holiday with them. We had a great time. Not only did Abby and I knock years off our time in purgatory (please, Lord!) with roughly 40 hours in the car over 5 days with 2 small kids, but we also had the chance to stay at both of our parents’ houses. We spent 2 nights with my parents and 2 nights with Abby’s parents.
A beautiful moment occurred while staying at my folks’ house. During a lull in conversation, my dad turned to me and said, “I’ve really been enjoying my time with your mom.”
That simple sentence struck me.
A little about Mom and Dad. My parents have been married for over 50 years! Dad is 70, and Mom is 68. They were 19 and 17 years old when they got married, and now, over 50 years later, my dad is proclaiming to me how much he enjoys spending time with my mom.
What a gift!
The time they spend together has greatly increased recently due to my dad choosing to back away from extra work outside the home. My dad is the hardest working man I’ve ever known. He spent years wielding in the shipyards of south Louisiana, then he worked at a chemical plant for nearly 3 decades. Once he retired from there he got another job and then another. Those years of hard work provided for his family, and I am grateful. But those years of work also came with a price: time.
Dad shared with me some of the things he and my mom had been doing since he stepped back from working outside their home. They’ve been tackling house projects, grilling outside, sipping wine, and cooking (my mom even taught my dad how to make a roux). All of these things they have been doing together.
Upon reflecting on this, I came to realize that the things my parents are doing together are simple and very ordinary. Yet these simple things have drawn them closer together. The time they are spending with one another is impacting their marriage and you can see it. In many ways, even after 50 years, my parents started dating again.
It got me thinking about when Abby and I were dating…
I couldn’t wait to give my time to her.
Many of the ways we spent time together were simple and ordinary: we would watch a movie, have dinner, talk on the phone, etc. To be honest, it never really mattered to me what we were doing. I just wanted to be with her, and during our time together, I came to know her more and more and the connection between us grew.
Once we got married, we had even more opportunities to connect. But I noticed something odd: while our chances for connection increased, our overall connection somehow decreased. I quickly found myself reaching for the TV remote or my phone instead of engaging in meaningful conversation with my beloved bride. Where we had once experienced deep connection, distance took its place. Where I once strived to connect, I allowed myself to get comfortable and complacent.
It seemed such a strange thing to have felt more connected to my bride BEFORE she actually was my bride.
But then 3 things happened that had a profound impact on my life and my marriage: (1) Abby and I found Metanoia Catholic (thanks, Abs), (2) we began coach training, and (3) we put in the work.
Abby and I sensed the disconnection within our marriage, and we couldn’t stand it. We began investing in our marriage, and that changed everything. In many ways, like my parents, we began dating again. Now it is very common to find Abby and I up late talking for hours after the kids are asleep. We play games together. We create together. We laugh together. We work together. We dream together.
It seems my dad and I have come to the same conclusion: our brides are worth spending intentional time with. Abby is worth dating, even though we’re married.
And I’ll tell you a secret…it’s better. So much better.
Things can be better for you too. No, you don’t have to wait until the kids move out. No, you don’t have to wait until that precious summer vacation. No, you don’t have to wait until you find a babysitter. No, you don’t have to wait until you retire. No, you don’t have to wait. The time is now. Right now.
Investing in my marriage has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Beginning Monday, May 1, 2023, I’m launching an 8-week group coaching experience for married men and women who want to invest in their marriages called Dating Again. Through our time together, I will be sharing the same skills that helped me discover new depths in my marriage and a new way of seeing my wife.
Are you ready to invest in your marriage? Are you ready to move from distance to communion with your spouse? It’s possible. I’m living proof, and so is my dad.
What if you could reignite excitement within your marriage?
What if you could see your spouse as a gift?
What if you could develop a fruitful, consistent prayer life with your spouse?
What if you could make your relationship with your spouse priority?
I’m here to tell you, you can.
If you want to experience greater connection and intimacy within your marriage, then join me. Just imagine what your marriage could look like if you made it your priority for 8-weeks. In just 8-weeks, God can transform your life … and your marriage.
Will you join me?? Registration for Dating Again is now open!
For more information and to register, click here: https://linktr.ee/markdufrene
