The Generational Impact of (Many) Metanoia Moments
August 23, 2022
By Tiffany Haller
I joined Metanoia Catholic because I am fascinated with God’s plan regarding the power of the mind. I committed to Purgative Way because I desired to utilize the mindset coaching skills taught in this course in my present work and ministries. Just having completed a masterclass learning about life skills with a dream to teach others, I knew this Catholic-specific training would be the perfect compliment! What I didn’t realize was that the Lord was calling me to transformation in a very personal way. The mental, emotional, and spiritual growth along with the tools that I would practice took me to a place I didn’t even know existed within myself!
When the Purgative Way course began, I was going through a divorce. The world was just coming out of the many rigid COVID restrictions, my job was shifting in big ways, and two of my adult children moved out of the house at the same time their father moved into his own apartment. It was the first time in my life I was truly independent. I still have two kids at home. My income was cut by a third. There is no opportunity for advancement at my current employment. The world is presently a very turbulent and uncertain place. But, as always, God’s timing is perfect.
Though I loved every minute of the Purgative Way training, I was not progressing at the rate I originally hoped. (I know, this is a thought in my mind and I can choose to think about it differently if I want…) I did my homework, attended meetings faithfully, did the journaling, received and administered coaching, but ‘nothing’ was happening. Why wasn’t I changing in bigger ways? Why hadn’t I begun coaching for income? Why has no one noticed that I am a completely different person than before I began? Why is nothing changing at my job when I used to be so inspired by it?
When the Metanoia Catholic team reached out to offer the opportunity for me to share my story, I was honored and humbled, but I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t harvested my metanoia yet. So, I waited. And I asked the Lord to show me. Being left with so many questions, what would I write about? Then my youngest child, Ava, came home from school one day. She and her two closest friends had written speeches for a class project. The topic they chose was ‘Lessons From Parents’. She shared that both her friends’ moms had cried when they read their respective speeches. I told her, “I want to cry about mine too.” She wasn’t convinced and I did not push her. But later that week, her teacher explained (unprovoked by me) that she should share the speech with me. This teacher’s father had passed away unexpectedly and she did not have the chance to tell her dad many things she wished she would have. Ava was convinced.
Paraphrasing, these are some of the things she wrote: ”I was pretty much raised by a single mom and she taught me so much throughout my life. So, I have come up with the most prominent lessons I have learned from her:
She taught me how to persevere in the most difficult situations.
She taught me you have to keep going even when it seems like everything is falling apart. Even in difficult situations, it is important to stay positive and think of the good things in life. No matter what is going on you can always find something to be thankful for.
She taught me that everyone deserves to be loved and treated with respect and that it’s important to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you. You don’t need big expensive things to make you happy.
She also taught me how important it is to make the right decision, no matter how hard it may be. Also, if you don’t make the right decision the first time, you can always try again. I was taught from a young age that you have to know what you want or else nothing will happen for you. My mom is good at making quick decisions that help people.
She helped show me that in certain cases change can be good. And that if you are constantly telling yourself you can’t do something, you probably won’t be able to.”
Yes, I, like her friends’ moms, did cry.
I write this, not to boast, but to humbly witness that mind management is a powerful tool that can help us transform into the saints we are created to be. I didn’t see any change, but what my daughter wrote is proof of my growth. It not only changed me, it taught my daughter skills I wish I had known at 16. That has been my enduring hope and prayer. The Holy Spirit is working in a mighty way and we all have a job to do.
I have a very wise little sister. She would ask me about what I learned in my coaching classes. When I would elaborate about the challenge of not seeing change or feeling accomplished she said, “You did commit to a program named ‘Purgative Way’ Tiff.”
Fire is purifying. Did I really think this would be comfortable? Growth never really is, is it? (Perhaps Matt and Erin should have a disclaimer.) Nonetheless, I am so very grateful for my metanoia and I recommend it for everyone. It is not easy, but it is true, good, and holy. It can lead you to greater freedom in your mind, spirit, relationships and profession.
Like it or not, you will change and people will notice!
About the Author
About the Author
I’m Tiffany Haller, mom of four, Director of Faith Formation at my local parish & Purgative Way graduate and mindset coach living in central Pennsylvania. I have over ten years of ministry experience and am also a facilitator for SFP (Strengthening Families Program)12-14.
“What you are is God’s gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.” – Hans Urs con Balthasar